Satan has possessed my iPhone!

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zeromonkey
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Satan has possessed my iPhone!

Post by zeromonkey » Wed Mar 30, 2016 4:49 pm

So I have a new phone. The past few years I got tired of android constantly crashing and blaming everybody else for it's problems (Unfortunately, the internet has stopped working -> browser crash). When in reality, they just suck when it comes to creating an operating system. Instead of trying to push out a new "treat" every 3 months, they should take the time to figure out why their shit is always crashing. Keep in mind that my phone was stock with just 3 apps on it. My bank app, 1 game and an app we use for reporting hours at work. Problems existed long before using this stuff. But on to the topic of this thread...

I just got my iPhone Monday. Haven't figured it all out yet but I have managed to learn to use the text messaging. I hadn't really put the phone to much use since the number they gave me was an old business number for some printing company (i spent most of the day fielding calls for them till I could get off work and head to the store to get it fixed to get a new number. Apparently, you can call customer service to do it for free -which I did and made sure it wasn't another business number before accepting. LOL!).

I went to Walmart to get a new protective case since the damn thing is so fragile and my son wanted a Nerf Gun. I figured, shit I just spent 600 dollars on myself, I can get him a 20 dollar gun without giving him any grief about being spoiled when it comes to talking daddy into getting stuff for him (which I am completely guilty of). Well today, after his teacher was here, he told me he wanted to go outside to use his new gun. I was texting my wife telling her that his schooling went pretty good today and that he wanted to go shoot his gun. NOW COMES THE FUNNY PART (at least I think it is amusing).

Predictive text: As I am typing the message - Isaac wants to go shoot his... One of the predictive text options was "wife". I was like what the fuck? Who thinks that is something a person would send a text message about. Hey, I'm gonna go shoot my "wife". I understand that iPhone are supposed to have everything encrypted but this is just screaming "Hey Sociopaths, use our phone to text your friends that you are gonna commit mass murder". I only wonder what other interesting things will pop up in the future since I tend to have some strange text conversations with my friends.

flamethrower
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Re: Satan has possessed my iPhone!

Post by flamethrower » Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:20 pm

Although that IS funny, it's keying off of "his," not "shoot."
Relevant xkcd comics:
https://xkcd.com/1256/
https://xkcd.com/798/
https://xkcd.com/930/

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SkyeWelse
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Re: Satan has possessed my iPhone!

Post by SkyeWelse » Thu Mar 31, 2016 1:04 pm

Ooh, so they think you are an existing printing business eh? You could have some fun with that.

Customer: Yeah, we're looking to fill an order.
You: Ah, yup. What can I do for you? Just to let you know we have a special right now if you purchase 100,000 units. It even comes with a collectable papyrus leaflet print which will look nice in any office as a thank you gift.
Customer: Yeah.. um...

iPhone autocorrect can be the worst. The most common thing I hate about it is when I want to say "NP" in response to someone saying "Hey is it okay if we do this, or that instead?" and it rewrites it as "NO". Pfff... The Shoot the Wife autofill in makes sense to me though in the sense of it being a colloquial expression in English. Think of this context:

Man A: Ah dammit! I just got an alert that my wife just spent over $300 on a new pair of shoes!
Man B: That sux!
Man A: I'm going to shoot my wife! She knows better than to spend this much!

I do like the iPhone though. I'd recommend getting a tempered glass screen shield for around $10. It will save you a trip to the Apple Store later when it inevitably drops and shatters the screen. I've dropped mine A LOT and that tempered glass screen shield has saved me so far.

The cool thing about Apple's iMessage is that you can send a text message to anyone who is using an Apple device and it will not be sent as an SMTP message or regular text message. So for example, you an I could send each other an iMessage over wifi without ever having a text plan in carrier service.

-Thomas

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